hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
