Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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