Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
