i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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