How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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