so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
