I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
