were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
