Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
