I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
