We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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