Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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