i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I would fuck him just for his dog
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
