u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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