you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize