the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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