yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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