and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize