Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
