Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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