Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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