Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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