I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
