So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
