guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she peed on how many people?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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