and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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