I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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