apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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