I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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