I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
