sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
