Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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