I could have mohawked her pubes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
