Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My room smells like vodka and shame
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
