it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
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You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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