Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
