I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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