no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
