I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
