i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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