We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
