White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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