you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
