I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
