The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
