found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
