so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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