I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
