The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
