I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
