So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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