do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
