I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
