He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
