she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
