He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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