I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
