He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize