No, drunk sperm still make babies.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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