i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
