it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
