Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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