He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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