she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
