I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I want her autograph on my taint
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
