It's just like the Real World with babies
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
there is glitter all over my balls
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
